It’s not a secret that every day for all of us is very rich for different events in our private life.
These stories happened recently to me. They are very funny, tell about our russian reality. I hope you’ll like it if you can get their gist of course.
These stories happened recently to me. They are very funny, tell about our russian reality. I hope you’ll like it if you can get their gist of course.
***
Days ago I was hurrying up to my work-place as I had the rendez-vous there. I went there on foot, the day was rather cold for summer, and me I was in long skirt, t-shirt, jean-jacket and middle-heeled shoes, in one hand there was my bag and in another one I had a pocket with papers. So, going my own way, suddenly I heard behind me the conversation of two men, they were speaking loud about me. Let they be FM (first man) and SM (second man). Untill the end of their talk I didn’t turn at voices cause it was very interesting to know the curious things about my personnality. Sometimes they used the non-standart words in my adresse but here I’ll tell all in literary style of course. Here you are.
FM: Look, what a nice girl is going in front of us, she has a very fine figure.
SM: Why do you think that she’s a girl. I’m sure she’s an aged woman and more an old one.
FM: Oh, no, you’re not right. If she was aged or old she wouldn’t have so rapid gait in heels. SM: But look her hair, there are so many grey hairs and it shows that she has colored her head long time ago yet. And as for rapid gait the aged women always walk in half-bent, so I don’t wonder that she is walking so.
FM: No, you see, she holds her back so straight, well, I assure you, she’s not old. More I think that she does dances or some sports.
SM: Oof, as all aged women she has a back-pains and has to put the corset on which make her back so straight. You see, I’ll like to watch her dancing, it would be the real show, haaaa.
FM: But she moves her hips as the young girls do it.
SM: You wanted to say as the street-walkers do it, didn’t you?
FM: Oh, you think that she’s so? I’m not sure. She’s stylish, she has a very expensive bag, her clothes are not Made in China-Town. And at last she’s a very self-confident, look. You see I think that you’re right she’s a woman, not a girl. And to tell the truth I’m almost falling in love with her. How old is she?
SM: About 45-50...
FM: Noooooo, I should give her 25-35.
SM: Of course, the man in love, can he face the truth?
FM: Haaaaaaa. You’re right. What she is, how d’you think?
SM: If I say it to you you won’t be so happy, haaaaa.
FM: What? Do you know this woman?
SM: I’m not crazy as you’re. But if you are so interested in her, why you don’t want to ask her about it?
FM: I don’t know if I can.....
You know, I was smiling during all their talk, but at last I have to turn to the other street and not being sure they would follow me, I stopped very abruptly and without turn I pronounced:
“Hey, guys? Are you sure that you want to look at me? I’m so afraid you can be turned into two silly stones!” They were yet close to me, I turned to them and asked in laugh: “Well, here I am. As I’ve got, you have something to tell me? I’m ready to listen to you.”
FM and SM: Hello, how are you getting on?
SM: I didn’t expect that you’re so charming.
Me: You see, the grey hair, the half-bent walk, the back corset and my job of street-walker help me to be in fine form, indeed.
SM: Sorry, I beg your pardon for those words.
Me: Oh, it’s OK, it was rather funny to know it about myself.
FM: I was right. May I enquire as to your plans for now?
Me: I’m hurrying to my work up.
FM: Do you need the company. We’re at your disposal.
Me: No, thanks a lot. My ‘company’ is just waiting for me. Hey, look forward, the very nice girl is going in front. If you are hurry up, you can catch up with her and continue your useful guess-work. Good luck and nice day.
(In two days I met them in one cafe, we talked a little)
Days ago I was hurrying up to my work-place as I had the rendez-vous there. I went there on foot, the day was rather cold for summer, and me I was in long skirt, t-shirt, jean-jacket and middle-heeled shoes, in one hand there was my bag and in another one I had a pocket with papers. So, going my own way, suddenly I heard behind me the conversation of two men, they were speaking loud about me. Let they be FM (first man) and SM (second man). Untill the end of their talk I didn’t turn at voices cause it was very interesting to know the curious things about my personnality. Sometimes they used the non-standart words in my adresse but here I’ll tell all in literary style of course. Here you are.
FM: Look, what a nice girl is going in front of us, she has a very fine figure.
SM: Why do you think that she’s a girl. I’m sure she’s an aged woman and more an old one.
FM: Oh, no, you’re not right. If she was aged or old she wouldn’t have so rapid gait in heels. SM: But look her hair, there are so many grey hairs and it shows that she has colored her head long time ago yet. And as for rapid gait the aged women always walk in half-bent, so I don’t wonder that she is walking so.
FM: No, you see, she holds her back so straight, well, I assure you, she’s not old. More I think that she does dances or some sports.
SM: Oof, as all aged women she has a back-pains and has to put the corset on which make her back so straight. You see, I’ll like to watch her dancing, it would be the real show, haaaa.
FM: But she moves her hips as the young girls do it.
SM: You wanted to say as the street-walkers do it, didn’t you?
FM: Oh, you think that she’s so? I’m not sure. She’s stylish, she has a very expensive bag, her clothes are not Made in China-Town. And at last she’s a very self-confident, look. You see I think that you’re right she’s a woman, not a girl. And to tell the truth I’m almost falling in love with her. How old is she?
SM: About 45-50...
FM: Noooooo, I should give her 25-35.
SM: Of course, the man in love, can he face the truth?
FM: Haaaaaaa. You’re right. What she is, how d’you think?
SM: If I say it to you you won’t be so happy, haaaaa.
FM: What? Do you know this woman?
SM: I’m not crazy as you’re. But if you are so interested in her, why you don’t want to ask her about it?
FM: I don’t know if I can.....
You know, I was smiling during all their talk, but at last I have to turn to the other street and not being sure they would follow me, I stopped very abruptly and without turn I pronounced:
“Hey, guys? Are you sure that you want to look at me? I’m so afraid you can be turned into two silly stones!” They were yet close to me, I turned to them and asked in laugh: “Well, here I am. As I’ve got, you have something to tell me? I’m ready to listen to you.”
FM and SM: Hello, how are you getting on?
SM: I didn’t expect that you’re so charming.
Me: You see, the grey hair, the half-bent walk, the back corset and my job of street-walker help me to be in fine form, indeed.
SM: Sorry, I beg your pardon for those words.
Me: Oh, it’s OK, it was rather funny to know it about myself.
FM: I was right. May I enquire as to your plans for now?
Me: I’m hurrying to my work up.
FM: Do you need the company. We’re at your disposal.
Me: No, thanks a lot. My ‘company’ is just waiting for me. Hey, look forward, the very nice girl is going in front. If you are hurry up, you can catch up with her and continue your useful guess-work. Good luck and nice day.
(In two days I met them in one cafe, we talked a little)
***
You see it’s funny but in our country they adress to the women of service sector, of any age, as ‘devushka’ = ‘girl’ (the equivalent adressing form in english is ‘miss’), very rare, but more true of course, to use the form ‘zhenshchyna’=’woman’ for those who are in age yet (the equivalent adressing english form is ‘missis’). And there are women who feel themselves offended if one adresses to them as ‘zhenshchina’. And I can’t explain why. For me it’s always strange to hear when one adresses in a shop or other public places to the aged and old sales-woman: ”Devushka, I would like....., please”. Me and my sister we use always the form according the age of actors. So I have done this preambule to understand the other story.
It happened in bus. I was there with my sister, we were going to her place. We were very tired and wanted to be at home as quickly as it was possible, so the first bus had come, we took it. My sister wasn’t sure that the bus stopped near her house and she adressed to the ticket-seller to know where we would have to get out. The woman who sold tickets was about 45, a little plump as all aged women, with very hard make-up, well dressed. All passagers giving money adressed to her: “Devushka, please”. And when my sister said: “Zhenshchina, tell us, please, where we have to get out to reach the ...street”. First she didn’t turned at her voice. My sister repeted her question more louder and impatiently. So the ticket-seller looked very angry at her, then turned her head in an other side and such way was speaking with my sister: “You have to get out in three stations, ZHEN-SHCHI-NA!” My sister thanked her, then turned to me and said: “Do you think I have said anything wrong?” Me: “It looks like that! Don’t you see that she’s very young for her ages???” And we both began to laugh. When we reached our station, my sister got out first in silence, me I was after her. Before to get out, I turned to this woman, smiled to her and said: “Devushka, thanks again! Nice day!” And she smiled too with “Spassibo”! My sister to me: “What a caustic tongue you have!” “Me??????? The only thing I want that she’ll be happy, always young and rare meet the woman like you, my dear SIS-TER!” And again we began to laugh.
You see it’s funny but in our country they adress to the women of service sector, of any age, as ‘devushka’ = ‘girl’ (the equivalent adressing form in english is ‘miss’), very rare, but more true of course, to use the form ‘zhenshchyna’=’woman’ for those who are in age yet (the equivalent adressing english form is ‘missis’). And there are women who feel themselves offended if one adresses to them as ‘zhenshchina’. And I can’t explain why. For me it’s always strange to hear when one adresses in a shop or other public places to the aged and old sales-woman: ”Devushka, I would like....., please”. Me and my sister we use always the form according the age of actors. So I have done this preambule to understand the other story.
It happened in bus. I was there with my sister, we were going to her place. We were very tired and wanted to be at home as quickly as it was possible, so the first bus had come, we took it. My sister wasn’t sure that the bus stopped near her house and she adressed to the ticket-seller to know where we would have to get out. The woman who sold tickets was about 45, a little plump as all aged women, with very hard make-up, well dressed. All passagers giving money adressed to her: “Devushka, please”. And when my sister said: “Zhenshchina, tell us, please, where we have to get out to reach the ...street”. First she didn’t turned at her voice. My sister repeted her question more louder and impatiently. So the ticket-seller looked very angry at her, then turned her head in an other side and such way was speaking with my sister: “You have to get out in three stations, ZHEN-SHCHI-NA!” My sister thanked her, then turned to me and said: “Do you think I have said anything wrong?” Me: “It looks like that! Don’t you see that she’s very young for her ages???” And we both began to laugh. When we reached our station, my sister got out first in silence, me I was after her. Before to get out, I turned to this woman, smiled to her and said: “Devushka, thanks again! Nice day!” And she smiled too with “Spassibo”! My sister to me: “What a caustic tongue you have!” “Me??????? The only thing I want that she’ll be happy, always young and rare meet the woman like you, my dear SIS-TER!” And again we began to laugh.
***
In my town there are a lot of tatars. Very often old tatar women take me for one of them and begin to speak to me their language in bus, in street, in shop. I know some phrases in it, but the principal one is “sorry, I don’t understand you’ or ‘I don’t speak it’. One time when I said this phrase to the woman who had asked me the way she began to scold me saying: “It’s impossible! How don’t you speak your mother tongue, shameless?” I’m smiled to her and answered that I wasn’t tatar. She looked at me very attentively and concluded: “Yes, you’re not one of us!” I smiled and replied in tatar: “Thank you very much, it was very interesting to know it. Bye!” and went away. And this woman cried to my back: “But you’re very nice girl!” in tatar of course. Some days ago I was ending to talk in Skype with my friend and suddenly the unknown person asked me to authorize him. I did it and we began to chat. He talked me in very familiar manner that first I thought he knowed me. But it wasn’t so as I have understood few later when he said that he wanted to look at me. As I didn’t like the idea to give him my photo I sent him to visit my blog and I hoped that he wouldn’t return to chat. But he did it and then wrote me: “Oh, you look like arabian woman!” Me: “What? No!!!!!!!!” He: “Oh, darling, YES! Looking at your photo I could say that you rather like an arabe!” Me: “Thanks a lot! But I’m russian. As I see you know well arabian women!” He: “Yes, I’m from Algere, and I love russian women”. Me: “Oh, I see!!!!!!!! And me, you know, I love the russian language very much!” But I was chatting to him in franglais (he doesn’t good in both) not in arabian (in it I’m zero at all).
